MovieMistakes.com

An open letter to MovieMistakes.com. *ahem* Fuck you. Seriously, take a large black dildo and pound it up your brown eye with a rubber mallet. Now I’m not a paying member of the site, if I were you can bet that this letter would be sent to someone there directly. As it is, this is a free service that I’m using as a simple amusement to help pass the time in my boring day, but I have a serious bone to pick with the way things are run over there. I am sick and tired of posting legitimate mistakes, only to have some pedantic asshole post a nonsense correction for it. Making up a possible set of circumstances that could explain away a mistake is not a correction! You could do that for every mistake if you really tried. The point of the correction system on the site is to catch non-mistakes that somehow make it through the rigorous submission process and are posted to the site. Honestly, if I were a paying member of the site, I think I would take umbrage with the fact that I’m paying for a service that is partially being outsourced to the Internet public for free, namely quality control. There is a two page list of rules that you have to read before you can submit a mistake, but as far as I know there are no guidelines for submitting a correction. There’s no appeal option, there’s no open dialogue, there’s no place to post a rebuttal and assert your opinion that the mistake you posted is legitimate. Let me show you what I’m talking about here. Here is the mistake that I posted for “Kick-Ass”, followed in brackets by the correction.

When Kick-Ass called Big Daddy and Hit Girl for help, they leave behind their hot cocoa. After Hit Girl rescues Kick-Ass and they return to their house, Hit Girl looks at the two mugs of hot cocoa and we can see the marshmallows floating in both cups. Considering the amount of time elapsed, those marshmallows should have been melted. [Not so. We don't know how hot the drinks were in the first place, and by virtue of the fact the drinks would be cooling down means the marshmallows never get to melt.]

Fuck. You. We don’t know how hot the drinks were? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s called hot chocolate, something tells me that it’s probably hot. Have you ever had a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows? They melt ridiculously fast. Yes, the drinks are cooling off, but the marshmallows would have melted way before that even started to happen. And this is just one example, I’ve had other mistakes posted that have gotten equally ridiculous corrections. The point is, in a movie, there are certain simple assumptions that can be made. For example, hot chocolate is hot. And saying ‘Well, maybe it wasn’t hot’ is not a correction, it’s a possible explanation that has no facts in the movie to support it.

There, I just needed to get that off my chest. Thank you.